 |
 |
|
Caesar's Messiah CHAPTER 6 The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb The four Gospels each give a different time for the first visit to Jesus' tomb, though they all agree that a character named Mary Magdalene is the first visitor. The four Gospels also contradict one another about whether Mary Magdalene is alone when she first comes to the tomb, and about how many individuals are either inside or outside the tomb when she arrives. Since I had already realized that there was nothing inadvertent in the Gospels, I wondered about the purpose of these contradictions. My efforts to answer this question led me to discover another, more logical, way to understand the New Testament stories of Jesus' resurrection than any I had heard of previously: that the four different versions create one story that should be read inter-textually. This reading reveals that Jesus does not rise from the dead. Rather, Mary Magdalene simply mistakes Lazarus' empty tomb for the tomb of Jesus. This misunderstanding then sets off a comedy of errors during which the disciples mistake one another for angels and thereby delude themselves into believing that their Messiah has risen from the dead. This combined story also completes the joke I discussed in the previous chapter — that since the real Messiah, The four Gospels' depictions of who visits Jesus' empty tomb, and when, are as follows: MATTHEW In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow: And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men. And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. The above sounds like the Greek tradition surrounding Zagreus (an earthquake, descending from Heaven, the Angel of the Lord (Gabriel?), sat upon a stone, Like Lightning, a white raiment.) He went to Galilee, where they would be able to see him? Obviously he hadn't risen into the clouds, but only up from the slumber of his (allegorical) death. Note that Jesus is spoken of as an item or essence (which) prior to the crucifixion, but as he regarding the time following the crucifixion. Matt. 28:1-8 MARK And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him. Was the second Mary the mother of James AND Salome (Herodias)? Was the the inciter of John the Baptist's murder with Jesus' inner circle at Jesus' tomb? Obviously this Salome is to be assimilated as the Salome of John's murder - otherwise a distinction would have been made. Why would they have come to anoint a corpse that had been dead for three days? And very early in the morning the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the sun. And they said among themselves, Who shall roll us away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great. And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment; and they were affrighted. And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him. Again, Jesus WHICH was crucified But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you. And they went out quickly, and fled from the sepulchre; for they trembled and were amazed: neither said they anything to any man; for they were afraid. Here he is spoken of as a person, in contrast to being an item or essence (which versus he) Note also that in all of the gospels, the place where Jesus is laid to rest is called a sepulchre: the cave that Lazarus was placed in was likewise a sepulchre, yet none of the gospels call it such... why such an omission? Mark 16:1-8 LUKE Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments: And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee, Saying, the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again. And they remembered his words, And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest. So of the same people who wanted to stone him - who called for his crucifixion - out of so many who were against him, here we see the eleven and all the rest, implying a large crowd? It was Mary Magdalene and Joanna, and Mary the mother of James, and other women that were with them, which told these things unto the Apostles, but these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them. Is Joanna the same as Salome? But Peter arose and ran to the tomb; and stooping down he saw the linen clothes lying by themselves; and he departed, marveling to himself what had happened. Peter - whose name means rock - arose and ran to the tomb: the rock was lifted. linen clothes lying by themselves implies Jesus ran off naked and thus a connection to the young man who ran off when Jesus was caught. Was that young man likewise a resurrected Christ? That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, "What is this conversation which you are holding with each other as you walk?" And they stood still, looking sad. If this was one and the same Jesus, then this was him carrying out a sadistic mockery on the two. Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, "Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?' And he said to them, "What things?" And they said to him, "Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since this happened. The two people were zealots: the concept of the redemption of Israel is synonymous with forcing the Romans out in favor of Jewish rule. Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning and did not find his body; and they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. Some of those who were with us went to the tomb, and found it just as the women had said; but him they did not see. Luke 24:1-24 JOHN The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre. Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him. So she sees a stone missing and immediately goes to find a guy whose name means... stone. Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre. So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre. And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in. Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie, And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself. Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed. Why is the "other disciple" intentionally left unnamed repeatedly? Note the use here of the word "which" when it should have been "who" - again an essence is implied as opposed to a person. For as yet they knew not the scripture, that he must rise again from the dead. Then the disciples went away again unto their own home But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. The disciples lived together in one home. The two angels here performed a similar task to that performed by Jesus regarding Lazarus. Note also their locations: head and feet: Isis and Nephthys. They said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him." Saying this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Why is it that no one recognized Jesus after the crucifixion? Obviously his appearance must have changed - or perhaps he was not the same Jesus as the one who was crucified Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom do you seek?" Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where me you have laid him, and I will take him away." Was it common for gardeners to carry away corpses? John 20:1-15 My analysis revealed that these four versions were intended to be read as a single story. This combined story is divided into two halves. One half consists of the visits to the tomb described in the Gospel of John. The other consists of the visits to the tomb described in the other three Gospels. In the combined story the individuals described in the Gospel of John meet the individuals described in the other three Gospels and, in their emotional state, the different groups mistake one another for angels. This comedy of errors causes the visitors to the empty tomb to mistakenly believe that their Messiah has risen from the dead. To see how the four versions combine into one continuous story, it is first necessary to recognize that the New Testament places the contradictory versions in one temporal stream of events, and that each version enters this shared stream of events at a different point. The sun's position in the sky places each version of the story in sequential order. John's version begins earliest and the events progress through Matthew, Mark, and finally Luke. This can be determined as follows: In John, the first visit occurs while it is "still dark." In Matthew, the first visit occurs while the sun "is rising." The author specifically uses the present tense. Luke and Mark use the Greek words proi 108 and bathus. 109 Both mean "early in the morning"; however, in Mark, the superlative lian, 110 meaning "extremely" or "beyond measure," is used in conjunction with proi. Notice below that in Mark the sun has indeed risen when the visit occurs, thus creating the awkward expression "the very earliest moment in the morning after the sun had risen." Thus, Mark's version begins after Matthew's but before Luke's. Below are the related passages in the original Greek with their English translations. John 20:1 I TT| 6e (Bui on ihel Liltx (first [day|| TCOV (of the) Matthew 28:1 | o\ye 5e (Now late) OtxPfJaTCOV TT| Ion sabbath,) Mark 16:2 KtXl (and) A.ICXV (extremely) Ttpcoi (early in the Luke 24:1 | XT) 6f (But on the) pia (first [day]) TCOV (of the) The relative position of the sun indicates that the four visits do not occur simultaneously, but rather within a sequence on the same day and within moments of one another. The first visit is the one given in John because Mary Magdalene visits Jesus' tomb in the dark, while the other three visits occur either during or after sunrise. He has risen, he left his linens behind, to be viewed in all his glory, you will see him in Galilee, they did not recognize him... Jesus was a solar anomaly - perhaps an eclipse. The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre. For context, the word sepulcher is pronounced "sep-ul-ker". Was the sepulcher the Tropic of Leo? Of Capricorn? At the winter solstice the sun seems weak (naked and bear) unlike the brilliantly gold adorned sun of summer. Note also that if one takes the pul (Paul) out of Sepulcher, one is left with Secher (which would thus be pronounced Seker). John 20:1 The fact that Mary Magdalene is described as being in the dark not only establishes that this is the beginning of the combined story, it is also the start of the comedy. In the dark, Mary sees a tomb that has had its stone moved away. Of course, in the dark it is easy to make a mistake about whose tomb it is, especially if there is another tomb close by that also has had its stone rolled away. In fact, the Gospel of John describes just such a tomb. The tomb of Lazarus. The allusions to darkness infer that the sun had gone away. Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb; it was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. Jesus said, "Take away the stone." Again, Lazarus's burial place is called a tomb, whereas Jesus' is called a sepulcher. Something else to consider is: where was John the Baptist buried? His burial would have taken place around the same time and place as Lazarus'. Was the stone spoken of a guard named Peter? John 1 1 :38-39 It is important to note that in the New Testament Lazarus' "resurrection" occurs in the same week as Jesus' burial and in the same general location. Bethany, the village where Lazarus lived, was located just outside Jerusalem on the Mount of Olives. The New Testament also states that Lazarus left behind burial clothes and a soudarion, a funeral cloth used to cover the face of the corpse, exactly like those found in the tomb of Jesus. The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with bandages, and his face wrapped with a cloth [soudarion]. Jesus said to them, "Unbind him, and let him go." This adds to the image of Lazarus being held bound and captive in a cave guarded by a Peter, of which Jesus was at least involved enough to be able to gain Lazarus' release. John 1 1 :44 I believe that these facts, though they have no theological significance, are included in the New Testament to allow the alert reader to understand that the tomb of Lazarus has had its stone removed, is adjacent to Jesus' tomb, is empty at the time that Jesus is entombed, and has the same burial clothes inside it as those discovered in Jesus' tomb. In other words, the details indicate that Lazarus' tomb is a parallel of Jesus' tomb. Continuing with the version of the visit to the tomb in the Gospel of John, Mary Magdalene then informs "Simon Peter" and "the other disciple, whom Jesus loved," meaning the Apostle John, that Jesus' tomb has had its stone removed. Her way of saying why Peter, aren't you guarding the tomb? Why would they have needed a guard at Jesus' tomb? Famine was running wild throughout the land in those days, and as such, cannibalism likewise. However, notice below that it is not "Simon Peter" but "Peter" and the "other disciple" who are then described as running to the tomb. The other "disciple" arrives first but does not enter the tomb. At this point, not "Peter" but "Simon Peter" arrives and is the first person to actually enter the tomb and, once inside, sees "the linen clothes lying" and the soudarion. 111 Notice that the reader's attention is drawn to the linen clothes and the soudarion, on three consecutive lines. Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him. It thus would have been implied that grave robbing cannibals had removed Jesus' body, which might have been incapacitated yet still alive. Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre. So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre. Are the disciples spoken of here celestial bodies moving at different speeds? John 20:2-4 So the author, by including the odd details of the race between Peter and the other disciple, creates a moment when there is one individual on the outside of the tomb because, for some reason, after beating Peter to the tomb, the other disciple does not enter it but only looks in. However, notice that he does inspect the inside of the tomb, so he is aware while still on the outside of the tomb that Jesus has "risen." And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in. John 20:5 The author of John now points out that there is a period of time during which one person, "Simon Peter," is alone in the tomb because the other disciple chooses to wait outside. Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie, And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself. John 20 6-7 So "Simon Peter" enters the tomb first and sees the burial clothes lying there. Next the author provides another strange detail, that the other disciple eventually does enter, creating a moment when the two men are alone in the tomb. Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed. John 20:8 At this point Simon Peter and John return home. Then the disciples went away again unto their own home John 20:10 Thus, in the Gospel of John, the sequence of events when Simon Peter and John visit the empty tomb is First, one individual on the outside of the tomb. Using the time line established by the relative position of the sun, the sequence of events, the number and location of the "angels" who are inside or outside the tomb, and who greet the visitors in Matthew, Mark, and Luke is as follows: First, one individual on the outside of the tomb. (Matthew) Obviously, the sequence of events in John is the same as the sequence of the encounters with "angels" in the other three Gospels. The time line shown by the relative position of the sun places "Simon Peter" and the other disciple at the exact time and location, and in the same number, as the first three encounters with the "angels" described in the other Gospels. However, there is yet another encounter with "angels" described in the New Testament. In the Gospel of John after Simon Peter and John return home, a character named "Mary" is described as standing outside the tomb weeping. She stoops down and sees two "angels" inside the tomb. She then turns and encounters Jesus on the outside of the tomb. But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him." This sounds like Isis in her quest to find the parts of Osiris after Seth's minions cut Osiris up and dispersed the parts throughout the country. Perhaps this is an allusion to her looking for the Sun at the cave of the Tropic of Capricorn. Saying this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing. He was over her shoulder, just as the sun would be at dawn. John 20:11-14 If, as I am suggesting, Simon Peter and John are the "angels" that Jesus' followers encounter in the visits to the tomb described in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, then who are the angels that Mary encounters in the passage above? The Gospel of Luke records that certain men "went to the tomb" after having been told by "some women of our company" that Jesus' tomb was empty and that they saw "angels." Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning and did not find his body; and they came back saying Luke 24:22-24 The author of Luke, for some reason, includes the detail that the men who go to the tomb do so only after a visit by women who had seen angels. Notice the use of the plural. Only in the final visit to the tomb, in Luke, does the group encounter more than one angel. Therefore, the visit to the tomb described in Luke could occur only after Simon Peter and John, the "angels" that the first three groups encounter, have returned home. This sequence of events ties in perfectly with the details described in the Gospel of Luke. It is interesting that in the earlier passage, it was important to the author to claim that the first two disciples had gone to their home Notice that the plural "those" is also used to describe the number of men who go to the tomb. This fact is also essential, since the Mary described at the final encounter sees two angels. Further, the Gospel of Luke points out that those men "did not see" Jesus, which correlates with the fact that the angels Mary sees are inside the tomb, while Mary meets Jesus outside the tomb. The author discloses these facts by including the seemingly irrelevant detail that Mary has to look into the tomb to see the angels. Therefore, when the four versions of the visits to Jesus' tomb are combined into one sequence, they create a version that is perfectly logical. As I interpret this combined story, Mary Magdalene, in the "dark" (the actual word in the Gospel of John can also mean "religious ignorance"), does not find Jesus' tomb but Lazarus'. The "angels" who meet the visitors to the tomb are actually Simon Peter and John in the first three encounters, and are the men described as Notice that this interpretation makes coherent all the strange details of the "race" between "Simon Peter" and the other disciple as well as their odd behavior while at the tomb. For example, it explains not only why the other disciple does not go into the tomb when he first arrives but also why he looks into the tomb from the outside. These details enable him to be alone outside the tomb when the first group arrives and also to be "aware" that Jesus has risen so he is then able to then pass this news along to the group who encounters him. It also explains why the Mary in the Gospel of John sees the angels This fact — that, of the five versions, only the combined version is logical — is another example of what I see as the "truth" of the New Testament. That is, its authors did not intend the intelligent reader to take it seriously. Individuals who think logically and have a sense of humor were intended, at least eventually, to understand its comic level. The meaning of the combined story is clear. For example, what if in our day and age four groups claim to have seen "angels" near a cave on the same day and in the following sequence?
Though few would believe such stories, if it were then discovered that other individuals had been either inside or outside the cave at the same time, and in the same number and sequence, then such stories of seeing "angels" would be universally understood to be products of overwrought imaginations. To me, the only possible meaning of the combined story is that the disciples mistake one another for "angels" and thus pass Mary Magdalene's error on to one another until they all believe that Jesus has risen from the dead. Now, the only question is whether the combined story was intentionally created. I believe that the authors of the New Testament left us a way to answer this. If the combined story was intentionally created, it was the product of a single individual or group. The four Gospels, on the other hand, present themselves as the products of four separate authors. The probability that four authors could accidentally record the statements of fact necessary to create the combined story can actually be computed. The resulting probability demonstrates that the combined story was not the accidental product of four separate authors At first glance, the perfect fit that exists in the combined story may not seem extraordinary. After all, it is made up of only four elements — these being the position of the sun; visitors looking or not looking into the tomb; either zero, one, or two characters being present; and the encounter occurring either inside or outside the tomb. However, when one determines the probability of any particular sequence, the length of the sequence can be more important I believe that the authors of the New Testament were aware of this principle and use it here as a way of communicating to the educated reader that the combined story is the correct interpretation of the story of Jesus' resurrection. The truth is communicated using a mathematical rather than a verbal language, so that it could not be seen by the ignorant. If Titus had designed the New Testament to satirically disclose that he was "Jesus," he would have wished there to be some way to confirm that its satirical dimension was correct. With their crude system of numbers the Romans could not do any higher math; however, they were great gamblers and knew odds well. So the authors made sure that the odds that the combined story was accidentally created were both able to be calculated and too small for an intelligent person to take seriously. To clarify how the odds on the combined story can be calculated, I have edited the four Gospels' versions of the first visit to Jesus' tomb into the comic combined version, in which all the elements in the four stories fit together without contradiction.
So the author of John has created a moment when there is a single man outside the tomb. In Matthew there is also such a moment, which occurs second in the temporal sequence, when the sun is said to be "dawning."
Matt. 28:2 The Greek word, seismos, translated in the passage above as "earthquake" is more commonly used to describe simply a shaking or a commotion. 113 Within the comic interpretation it simply describes the shaking of the ground caused by the running of the disciples.
Matt. 28:8 The author then states that Simon Peter, not Peter, arrived at the tomb.
John 20:6 Notice that the "other disciple" does not go into the tomb but that Simon Peter does, creating a period when there is a single visitor, Simon Peter, in the tomb.
John 20:7
Mark 16:2 This group of women encounters a single man (Simon Peter) who tells them that Jesus has arisen.
Mark 16:5-7 Thus, a single individual in the tomb tells the women to "tell his disciples' and, specifically, to tell "Peter," that Jesus "goeth before you" in Galilee. Notice that this is yet another binary chance. If the "angel" had instructed the women to tell "Simon Peter" and not "Peter" then the logical linkage between the version in John and the other three would be destroyed. In other words, within the combined version of the story this individual can only be "Simon Peter" and it would be, thus, contradictory for him to instruct the disciples to give a message to himself. However, it is not contradictory for Simon Peter to give a message to "Peter" if "Simon Peter" and "Peter" are different individuals. The author provides two methods by which a logical reader can learn that "Simon Peter" and "Peter" are separate characters. One method the author uses to reveal that "Peter" and "Simon Peter" are separate individuals is having the version of the visit to the tomb given in Mark, where the single "young man" asks the group of women to tell "Peter" that Jesus has "risen," occur later in the day than the version of the visit to the tomb given in John, in which the first person to go into the tomb is "Simon Peter." These facts create the following logical progression:
The logical reader will identify the single individual who the group encounters in the tomb as the only person who has been described as being in the tomb alone, that is, "Simon Peter." Moreover, in the Gospel of Luke, the character named "Peter" does not go into the tomb when he first comes to it but only looks into it, whereas in the Gospel of John, the character named "Simon Peter" enters the tomb when he first comes to it. The reader has a choice: either accept a physical impossibility, that an individual both went in and not did not go in the tomb, or recognize that "Peter" and "Simon Peter" are separate characters. As I show below, this is the same method that the author uses to reveal that "Mary Magdalene" is the name of more than one character. Continuing with the analysis of the combined version, the group that came to anoint Jesus having left, the "other disciple" then enters the tomb. At this point there are two men inside the tomb.
John 20:8 Another group of women appears and encounters two men inside the tomb, "Simon Peter" and the "other disciple."
Luke 24:1-5 Jesus' followers, who visit the empty tomb, are thus deluded and then spread to the other disciples the misunderstanding that Jesus has risen from the dead. Notice how the author sets up the idea that the visitors to the tomb are irrational by his descriptions of their emotions and behaviors. They are shown as running wildly, "affrighted," "weeping," "perplexed," "trembling," and "bow[ing] down their faces to the earth." Within the Flavian court, these would Having finished greeting the three sets of visitors, Simon Peter and John return home.
John 20:10 At this point in the combined story the pattern reverses itself. Instead of characters within the other Gospels encountering "angels" from the Gospel of John, a character from the Gospel of John encounters "angels" who are from the Gospel of Luke.
John 20:11-14 The "angels" (plural) Mary encounters above are "logically" the men (plural), described in Luke, who go to the tomb after being told that Jesus has risen by a group of women who had seen "angels." Notice below that the men do not see Jesus, matching the fact that the "angels" Mary encounters are inside the tomb and her encounter with Jesus is outside the tomb.
Luke 24:22-24 It is thus possible to create a combined story out of the four different versions of the first visit to Jesus' tomb that has a different Moreover, the authors have deliberately made it possible to The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 143 x 3 x 3 x 100, which would give the gambler one chance in 9,100 of If four distinct authors have each created different versions of Notice that this sequence is not accounted for because the four Bear in mind that if even one fact in the four versions were different from what it is, this would destroy the logical sequence 144 Caesar's Messiah description would then not match the one in John, which states that The following are the statements of fact that four distinct authors 1) The sun must indicate that "Mary" comes first to the tomb in 2) Mary must encounter no angels during her first visit to the 3) The other disciple must reach the tomb first, not Peter. One 4) The other disciple must not go in. One chance in two. 5) The disciple must look in. One chance in two. 6) Simon Peter, not Peter or the other disciple, must be the one 7) He must go in alone. One chance in two. 8) The other disciple must go into the tomb after Simon Peter. 9) The sun must indicate that "Mary" comes to the tomb second 10) The group described in Matthew must encounter one angel. 11) The angel in Matthew must be outside the tomb. One The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 145 12) The sun must indicate that "Mary" comes to the tomb next 13) The group from Matthew must encounter one angel. One 14) The group from Matthew must encounter the angel inside 15) The sun must indicate that "Mary" comes to the tomb last 16) The group described in Luke must discover the angels 17) This group must encounter two angels. One chance in three. 18) The angel must request that "Peter" not "Simon Peter," be 19) The "Mary" who stands outside weeping in John must 20) The angels Mary sees must be inside the tomb, because 21) Mary must encounter Jesus outside the tomb. One chance Thus, the chain of multiplication to determine the probability 4X3X2X2X2X3X2X2X4X3X2X4X3X2X4X2 which equals one chance in 254,803,968. This demonstrates that four distinct authors did not create the My theory is also solid in the sense that it is so easily disprovable. 146 Caesar's Messiah In any event, the combined version of the four stories is so obvious that it is reasonable to ask why no one noticed it before. The Other than the contradiction involving "Simon Peter" and However, if the female characters in the four versions of the visit However, it is not possible that all the "Mary Magdalenes" in the The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 147 Further, the Mary Magdalene in the Gospel of Mark, who is told The illogical reader — that is, the one who takes the New Testament "seriously" and therefore sees Jesus as divine — must accept the For the logical reader, who understands that each "Mary Mag- Moreover, "Mary Magdalene," like "Jesus Christ," can also be The point that the authors wish the logical reader to understand 148 Caesar's Messiah also the solution to understanding the New Testament itself. There The notion that the New Testament is referring to more than Likewise, the Jesus who is crucified in the Gospel of John could One of the reasons that the comic element of the many Jesuses Origen wrote concerning his dismay over the fact that the name The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 149 something wrong with Jesus' cellmate having a name so similar to In such a translation, the purpose of the character named Jesus Notice also that, just as they were at the empty tomb, the Jews But they all cried out together, "Away with this man, and a man who had been thrown into prison for an insurrection started in the city, and for murder. Pilate addressed them once more, desiring to release but they shouted out, "Crucify, crucify him!'" A third time he said to them, "Why, what evil has he done? But they were urgent, demanding with loud cries that So Pilate gave sentence that their demand should be Luke 23:18-24 In each of the Gospels, following the "resurrection," the disciples are described as encountering a character named Jesus. However, the dead cannot come back to life. The authors of the Gospels When they saw Him, they worshiped Him, but some Matt. 28:17 After this he appeared in another form to two of them, as Mark 16:12 But they were terrified and frightened and supposed they Luke 24:37 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus Luke 24:16 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the beach; yet the John 21:4 In John 20:15 below, Mary Magdalene is also unable to recognize Jesus and confuses him with a "gardener." This passage is a part This episode is the prophetic and comic climax of the New Testament. It is the moment that "foresees" Titus switching himself for The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 151 Notice the brilliant irony in Mary's mistaking the Messiah for a Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom do Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned and said to him John 20:15-16 The following passage from War of the Jews reveals why Titus ... (The Sicarii) whose courage, or whether we ought to call 152 Caesar's Messiah with a soul that in a manner rejoiced under them. But what The switching of Titus with Jesus occurs in John 21. The chapter begins with Jesus coming to the Sea of Galilee in the morning, After these things Jesus showed Himself again to the disciples at the Sea of Tiberias, and in this way He showed Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Simon Peter said to them, "I am going fishing." They But when the morning had now come, Jesus stood on Then Jesus said to them, "Children, have you any And He said to them, "Cast the net on the right side of Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 153 But the other disciples came in the little boat (for they Then, as soon as they had come to land, they saw a fire Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish which you Simon Peter went up and dragged the net to land, full Jesus said to them, "Come and eat breakfast." Yet none Jesus then came and took the bread and gave it to This is now the third time Jesus showed Himself to His John 21:1-14 This story of the disciples catching "fish" shares a number of This Jesus leads a sally against the Romans. In response, Vespasian orders Titus to take a force and counterattack Jesus and his The following diagram is presented for clarification of the parallels between Josephus' "sea battle" passage and John 21: 154 Caesar's Messiah 1. Both passages describe the followers of a "Jesus" who spend 2. Both passages describe a "catching" that occurs the following 3. Each passage occurs on the Sea of Galilee (Tiberias). 4. Jesus and Titus share the previously noted collection of parallels in John 21 involving the condemning of "Simon" and the sparing of "John." The parallels work to give a typological and satirical meaning to Once again, the authors of the New Testament are testing the Notice that the author indicates only that the events of John 21 The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 155 As with the different Gospels that form the puzzle of the empty The "Jesus" they follow, "Jesus, the son of Shaphat, the principal head of a band of robbers," is not on the beach because Titus has Therefore the "Jesus" that the disciples follow no longer exists Having achieved his goal, Titus, the "Lord," then sits down with Notice the authors witticism. The disciples don't ask his name — Jesus said to them, "Come and eat breakfast." Yet none of Jesus then came and took the bread and gave it to This is now the third time Jesus showed Himself to His The interaction between the New Testament and War of the Jews 156 Caesar's Messiah the battle mentioned above. This putrid smell of the "fish" on the And a terrible stink, and a very sad sight there was on the And the "bread" that the disciples eat is also identified in the "I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If The Jews therefore quarreled among themselves, saying, "How can this Man give us his flesh to eat?" Then Jesus said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, John 6:51-53 To make clear that it is the body of the "Son of Man" that the The Puzzle of the Empty Tomb 157 I would note that the analysis above has implications for the In any event, the humor that the Romans created regarding the Some, whose Lot it has been to have Sabbath fearing fathers, humans Since their fathers abstained from pork. 119 The two "Jesuses" who are on the beach when the Romans catch In Matthew, the Jesus encountered by his disciples does not 158 Caesar's Messiah The authors of the Gospels designed their creation to be perfectly logical. Whenever two events seem to contradict each another, However, who do the disciples encounter at the conclusions of As the New Testament's final comic stroke, each Gospel concludes I suspect that the herd of Jesuses roaming about at the conclusions of the four Gospels are a joke reflecting the fact that there were Finally, a question I found interesting is whether the authors It is possible that the authors of the Gospels created them as a
|